FAQs
Shouldn’t we be able to handle this on our own?
I’m a strong believer in people, but sometimes couples get stuck in patterns of arguments, power struggles, and hurt feelings that are hard to understand. I help couples see conflict as a growth opportunity to learn about their individual selves, motivations and desires. I help couples get “unstuck” not by being a referee or judge, but with research based strategies to make connection in conflict.
Does relationship counseling work?
In short, yes. I have worked for decades with couples who felt alone, neglected, bored, pressured, objectified, or generally “not good enough” in their relationship. I use a skills based approach to relationship counseling that focuses on learned skills for communication, getting needs expressed and met, and recovering from hurts like betrayal or rejection. I tend to take an active role coaching skills that I think will help, but there is plenty of space for self reflection and growing as individuals so that you can get closer in your relationships.
Do you take insurance?
TL:DR; Yes, but with some significant exceptions. Insurance requires I prove that the diagnosis and treatment are medically necessary based on measurable symptoms. Insurance may also limit the types of therapy available or length of therapy. Please be aware that you may have to pay out of pocket, especially if sexual performance or relationship communication is the primary focus of therapy.
How does it work? I want to get the most out of therapy. What can I do to help?
My first suggestion is that you should come prepared to work on “you” first. This may mean self soothing during a fight, getting clear on your boundaries and the consequences of those boundaries, being assertive about needs, or challenging how you believe a relationship should look. I then move couples to improve their communication and self awareness by working on attachment and communication styles to help each person share who they are with their partner in vulnerable, open, intimate communication. Beyond that – it depends on the couples goals. Is it to improve or revive their sex life? Recover from an affair or other betrayal? Is it managing compulsive or addictive behaviors that the partner finds problematic? Is it feeling that sense of connection and closeness that gets lost in the hectic nature of our lives?
How long will it take?
It depends on the number of goals to be worked on. Generally the intake focuses on clarifying the goals and issues to be addressed and getting a full background on the relationship, each person and the issue. I then work with the couple on communication to help each person express themselves with compassionate advocacy and boundaries. Once communication is working we can tackle the larger issues. Time outside of therapy on ‘homework’ is a big determining factor for how long therapy will take. Generally I would say that we are talking about weeks to months, not months to years to work on most couples issues.
Where can I get a copy of your HIPAA notices / policies?
You may download a copy of our HIPAA policies here.
